


Who You Are, Not What You Are

by sapphosoup



Series: trans/nonbinary marauders fics [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, Genderfluid Sirius Black, Hogwarts, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Sirius Black, Remus Lupin is a Good Boyfriend, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28155936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphosoup/pseuds/sapphosoup
Summary: Sirius and Remus talk gender. It goes pretty well.*sequel to "Is That Even Allowed"*
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: trans/nonbinary marauders fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2135118
Comments: 13
Kudos: 77





	Who You Are, Not What You Are

**Author's Note:**

> i guess you could read this as a stand-alone, but it's a lot better if you read the previous work first.

It had been three days since Sirius told James about not really being a boy or a girl, and they were panicking. Neither of them had brought it up since then, but Sirius was sure another talk was coming soon. If James didn’t initiate it, Sirius would do it themself. James was still calling Sirius  _ he _ and  _ him _ , and Sirius was getting progressively more uncomfortable with it by the day. 

Not only that, but there was the issue of Remus, as well. Sirius could deal with staying in the closet when nobody knew, but now that James was in on the secret, they felt weird about keeping it from Remus. 

If Sirius was being honest with themself, they were scared shitless of telling Remus, even more so than they’d been before telling James. Would Remus still want to be their boyfriend after finding out? Sirius couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. It’d been different with James. James wasn’t friends with them because of their gender, but gender was an important part of a romantic relationship. 

Sirius pondered all this while sitting on the window ledge on an early Sunday morning. Sundays were the only days that James didn’t wake up early for Quidditch practice, and Sirius knew you couldn’t drag Peter or Remus out of bed before 10am if you tried. They were alone. 

Apparently, that wasn’t true every morning. Sirius flinched as a hand touched their back, and Remus whispered, “Can I join you?”

Sirius scooted over on the ledge, and Remus squeezed in next to them. Their legs dangled out in front of them, and Sirius had to focus very hard on not looking down. 

“What’re you doing up so early?” Remus asked, yawning. 

“I could ask you the same,” Sirius smiled and nudged his shoulder. 

Remus gripped the ledge underneath him and sighed. “Dunno. Couldn’t sleep. I was going to go down to breakfast early but then I saw you sitting here, so…”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, both of them exhausted. 

Remus spoke first. “Anything on your mind?”

Sirius’s head jerked up. “Why do you ask?” Their eyes opened almost comically wide. 

“Jesus, Padfoot,” Remus said, “just making conversation.”

“Oh,” Sirius breathed. “Sorry. They shifted, trying to get comfortable. “I guess I do have something on my mind.”   
  
“Hm?” Remus hummed. “What is it?”

Sirius figured they’d already done this once before, so it couldn’t be too bad a second time around. 

They decided to just spit it out without thinking about it too hard. “I’m not a boy.”

Remus turned his head to look at Sirius. “Huh?”

“I don’t know if there’s a word for it,” they said, “but I don’t feel like a boy or a girl. I don’t want to be either—I don’t feel like either.” They ran a hand through their hair and continued, “Look, I get it if you don’t want to be my boyfriend anymore—”

“What?” Remus said, shock evident on his face, “Why wouldn’t I want to be your boyfriend anymore?”

Sirius raised their eyebrows, “You really don’t mind?”

Remus laughed softly, and leaned into Sirius’s side, “Of course not. I care about  _ who _ you are, not what you are.” He paused for a moment, thinking, “And I think the word you’re looking for is nonbinary. I read a book a while ago about a Metamorphmagus that used that word.”

“Oh,” Sirius said, a warm feeling filling their chest. “Yeah. I’m nonbinary. My name is Sirius Black, and I am nonbinary.”

Remus smiled. “Nice to meet you, nonbinary. I’m Remus.”

Sirius laughed for what felt like the first time all week. “Leave the dad jokes for James, please.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Speaking of James,” he said, “have you told him yet?”

“Yeah, I told him a few days ago. He took it pretty well.”

Remus nodded. “I figured he would. If he can accept my furry little problem, he can accept this.”

Sirius grabbed Remus’s hand and linked their fingers together. “That’s why he’s the dad friend,” they said. 

“For sure,” Remus agreed. “He’s the dad friend, but I’m going to be the dead friend if I don’t get some breakfast right now.”

Sirius laughed. “Fine, let’s go. I heard a rumor from a house elf a few days ago that they were making crepes today.”

**Author's Note:**

> i've got a third work planned for this little arc, in which sirius and james have a follow-up conversation about pronouns! stay tuned for that, if you like. and, of course, thank you for reading :) [tumblr](https://illiterategf.tumblr.com/)


End file.
